HattiRoseRainbow

I know in my last journal - which was a very long time ago - I was rather dramatic, but reading back on it its scary how intuitive I was to something coming, what I didn't realise was how serious it really would be. To have someone die if an awful enough thing, but to have to watch them day after day getting weaker and weaker, and seeing other families in similar situations losing their loved one and knowing one of these days the family everyone will be watching will be yours. I'm not looking forward to that day. I can't even imagine what life is going to be like without her, life shouldn't be without her, she is the single most amazing, s

I can't believe its here. I'm actually going to be a legal adult in less than 48 hours.  Thats just scary. Although, at the minute everything is scary, everyone is scary. I feel like I'm loosing my grip on life, on everything in my life, and I need to find a way to hold on, before I lose everything I hold dear. Just like before. Only, it doesn't feel like just one thing that will be lost this time.  Its all happening at once you see.  Love, life, education and work. Two perhaps I could handle, but I'm in way over my head.  My few close friends are here for me, but most of my other friends are oblivious, mainly my fault I believe, I don't

Yes its been a while, I didn't want to come on here to be honest, for fear of being watched by those people of my past who I do not want to ruin my future. I came to realise, that they can't do anything to me anymore, all they have is their words, their lies.  I do not choose to believe their lies, so they can not harm me.   So now I have come back, and I hope to be posting my stuff on here again.  I have still been writing in my absence, but just on a novel which I do not wish to spoil by showing it on here. I need to get back into the flow of writing poetry as that is what I will be doing next year in English so I need to brush up my act